Dear Self-Led Healers:
Please practice patience with yourself when doing healing and growth work.
Recently I downloaded an online meditation for people with digestive issues. One of the cues in the meditation was to rub your own tummy and imagine you were rubbing a little baby's back. I loved the tenderness in this instruction. And it got me thinking about struggles I see clients have sometimes.
It's understandable that watching yourself heal can be frustrating if you've tried so many tools and techniques and therapists and found yourself spiralling back in the same cycles over and over.
But each of these cycles is a cry of distress, not a deliberate "self-sabotaging" act.
There are parts of you that still need to come into the light, to be held, to be seen, to be supported to be healed. Maybe they couldn't come out earlier - they weren't safe enough or they didn't know how. And maybe the part of you that will do that holding needs some practice too!
Yelling at yourself (probably inside your own head) isn't going to help you progress, it's just going to drive these parts back deep inside into the dark where they might manifest as a sore tummy or a series or bad relationship choices.
It can be so helpful and so much easier to stimulate compassion in ourselves when we can remember that the parts of us that maybe are causing us "trouble" developed when were were small and innocent. Remember these parts of you that are "acting up" or "failing again" are very small, young parts that need your patience. Working with the "inner child" concept is so powerful as it gives us the freedom to relate to ourselves with that natural impulse of kindness and care we more easily feel for children than adults or ourselves.
Peter Levine, an expert in the area of trauma recovery has said: "it’s never too late to have a resilient childhood. It’s never too late to have a happy child because the child not only lives within us but that child’s ability to rebound, to be resilient also lives within us".
I'd add to this - the ability to parent loving also lives within us.
To do this, you need to start practicing the number one things any parent will tell you is essential - patience.
Yours in warmth, resonance and healing.