top of page

Stop Over-giving by leaning back.

I'd like to teach you something.

Would you let me?

First consider this:

For some reason, I have always been able to see and feel clearly what other people's bodies are saying.

The slumped shoulder aches of sadness and I see it reflected in the eyes of my friend whose mother died recently. I notice the stiff hip and limp of another client who is struggling to settle and find a sense of place in this new country. I see the broad spread of a chest matched to the smile on a friends face who has just fallen in love.

As a child, I would walk behind the teachers at school , mimicking their walks to make my friends laugh. But often I was not laughing.

By watching them I could see the passions and pains, but by walking as they did, I could also feel what they were feeling.

I felt the fears and sadness and joys.

Our experiences and emotions, unreleased, become patterns of tension in the body. A skilled massage therapist will feel them and be able to run their fingers over the story lines of a person's life.

When we don't feel like we are enough, over-giving becomes a pattern. Our bodies strain forwards in an attempt to understand, soothe, be understood, not be rejected, not cause injury, ready to fight, flight or fawn in fear.

The body needs to be brought into a solid state for our whole system know it's safe.

We need to feel it to believe it.

Try this:

Next time you are nervous about something - a client sales call, a difficult conversation with a family member, speaking up or presenting at your next work meeting, try this.

Take a single deep breath and let your weight go into your heels.

Take another breath. Relax.

Take another breath and release the tension from your body.

Notice how you feel.

Give yourself a moment.

Then speak and see what happens.

In warmth, resonance and resilience,


6 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

How To Create A Dignified Living

Back in 2015 I read an article about a CEO who had himself read an article about the median salary required to maximize human wellbeing. This research showed that happiness increased with earning lev


bottom of page