I’ve seen it time and time again. There’s a dream, there's a fire, a passion, a desire to express, to contribute, to be visible, to be fulfilled.
We take a tentative step forward. Then comes the noise.
It comes from the inside:
Self Doubt: “Who am I to be doing this?"
Fear: “My legs are shaking, I sound so stupid"
Shut Down: “This is boring, I should try something else"
Then it comes from the outside too:
Questions - I don’t really get what it is that you are doing…?
Criticisms - Do you really think that’s going to work?
Silence. The worst.
Let’s not pretend okay - life is hard (yes it’s beautiful and joyful and all that but it’s a confusing challenging thing this sweet precious human life).
Long term goals and big dreams take effort.
They take consistency.
When we come up against these barriers we often find ourselves swinging between pushing harder at the same thing that isn’t working or backing away completely.
As women in particular we need to learn the art of holding - not pushing - ourselves through these moments.
Pushing is what has us focussing on others - whether they are more or less successful, whether they are paying enough attention to us, whether they are criticising or praising us.
Pushing has us running out of breath. Pushing has us moving fast and forgetting that essential slide we needed to put into the presentation. Pushing has us forgetting to eat properly before we speak to a prospective client. Pushing has us getting agitated with the people around us.
In the midst of our overwhelm, our dream flops to the floor like the glamorous dress we were so excited about for the party last night. Now we are too tired to care.
Discarded, crumpled and forgotten - we kick it out of the way.
I know you want meaningful things in your life. I know you are not ordinary - you have a fire inside, big hearts, big dreams and you’re tired of being knocked down by fear.
Life will challenge you. Fear will greet you nearly every step towards your big dreams.
You need to learn to hold yourself when it does.